The Calvin Hicks Show

“Keep your hands to yourself”.

“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you”.

Extreme contradiction lies within the boundaries of these timeless adages; for current headlines are telling the story of how one person’s words may have lead to another person’s cause for extreme physical harm.

Out of rage or in spite, a man should never hit a woman. This is an adage that has stood the test of time. Chris Brown has found himself entwined in a web of disappointment with himself, his fans, and fans of his girlfriend and recipient of his outrageous attack, Rhianna. No matter how much we’ve tried to avoid it, the story of how Chris bit, punched, and choked Rhianna after she questioned him about a racy text message, has disturbed us and recoiled memories of the sad case Nicole and OJ Simpson.

Reports of a young Chris witnessing his mother being physically abused by her boyfriend brought pause to wonder if Chris’s attack on Rihanna was fueled by the childhood misfortune. Adding to the brew are reports that as a child growing up in Barbados, Rihanna witnessed her mother being physically abused and that abuse being viewed as acceptable. If the latter is the case, this may explain why, after less than two weeks, reports had been made that Rihanna had forgiven Chris and the two of them were seen spending time together at Diddy’s home in South Beach, Miami, Florida.

Curious as to what people thought of this, I grabbed my MP3 recorder and headed to one of the biggest high schools in Fauquier County, Virginia to ask students if Rhianna should give Chris Brown another chance. Brian Mills of Warrenton, VA said, “No! I don’t think Rihanna should give Chris a second chance. I believe he should be put in jail for life. You NEVER hit a girl. Ever!” 17 year old Austin Polasky, also from Warrenton, VA, stated, “If she dates him again and she gets hurt, it is no ones fault but her own.”

Haider Ali from Catlett, VA said, “I know young teenage girls look up to her [Rihanna] and if they see that it is okay for her to allow Chris to beat her, they will most likely believe it’s okay for boys to treat them the same way.”

And Damon Cushman of Bealeton, VA also weighed in by saying, “It just shows that despite her showing off the independent-awesome-chick-mask she’s been wearing, is just that…a mask.”

This raises another question, can Chris Brown change his ways? Oprah Winfrey doesn’t believe Chris can change and she said so on a recent episode of her popular television show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, “If a man hits you once, he will hit you again. He will hit you again. I don’t care what his plea is, he will hit you again”.

However, there are those that I talked to who believe Oprah’s statement isn’t necessarily true. For example, Emily Brown of Culpeper, VA said, “I believe that if Chris [Brown] works hard and realizes what is right; things for him will get better”.

Personally, I believe that people really can change; therapy, anger management, and a strong, positive support group can be cause for a dramatic change in Chris’s life and others. It takes willingness to get the help needed and/or required, and the overall determination to get better. Positive change can happen.

So can you believe in change? In reality, what is it doing if Rihanna gets back together with Brown? I guess it depends on the way you look at it. She could be sending out messages of hope in second chances; while on the other side, she could be sending a signal that it is okay to stay in an abusive relationship. We can only hope for the best.